not good.
i think i am dying. midway through work yesterday i started feeling sick. yesterday it hit me officially. last night it smashed me into the ground. i haven't eaten anything other than soup since tuesday. yet here i am at work. why do you ask? b/c i don't get sick days. anyday i don't work, i don't get paid for. that fucking sucks. a lot.
sweet lincoln's mullet!
yesterday that soap bandit from a couple posts ago decided to strike again. i wasn't so much pissed this time. i actually found it kinda funny. i can just imagine someone being so angry at soap that he decides to not only take the dispenser off the wall, but take the top off and then empty it all over the sink. i myself have been angry at soap before, yet never had the imagination to go to these types of extremes.
i have a pretty good idea of who the culprit is. i'm willing to bet it's
this guy here. he and i are sworn enemies. the fact i threw a towel at him b/c he was sweating so profusely will probably not help matters.
hot/not
HOT:
the woman putting blonde highlights in her hair this weekend. jackpot.
the Yankees winning yesterday.
cooler weather.
the woman's high school friends that came down to visit saturday night right before i left. hook a brother up.
geno's cheesesteak's in philly. whiz is god's food.
Ron Burgandy.
the woman buying me a sweet new pair of puma's.
NOT:
all the people in this place. ugliest. gym. EVER.
the Giants losing sunday night.
the asshole Colt's fan at the bar on sunday. SCREAMING after every......single.......play. i get it, you are a fan. that doesn't mean you need to have an coronary after every play. sometimes a two yard run is just a two yard run.
the fact it was biker day at that bar. leather vests are gay.
every female at said bar.
how much it STILL costs to fill up my truck.
the woman and her friends NOT making out, having a pillow fight, strutting around in lingere, or doing anything else good before i left. weak. i have simple requests, i don't think they are too much to ask.
heavy set women.
my bank account.
the parking ticket i got in philly while getting sweet new pumas.
your mom.
i hate you blogger
i just posted brilliance and it was lost due to the fact blogger hates me.
so weak.
anger
i realize there is no more soap in the men's room. that's b/c one of you animals decided to tear the soap dispensers off the wall and dump them all over the sink. how do i know this? b/c i just got done cleaning it up.
i hate you fuckers.
ribs. i had ribs for lunch, that's why i'm doing this.
i fear i will eventually run out of anchorman quotes. that will be a sad sad day.
you bet your sweet ass it's friday bitches!!!!!!!!
friday is the best. far better than shitty monday through thursday.
going down to motown philly this afternoon to see the woman. think we are going to do some shopping as i need some new gear and am more or less helpless without her in that regard. the puma store is calling. sweet. her high school friends are coming up tomorrow evening so i am avoiding that like the plague. although they are pretty hot the chances of them changing into lingere and having pillow fights and making out is not a likely scenerio, no matter how hard i push the issue. i will be leaving shortly after their arrival so i can briefly check them out and then drive home and watch college football with my friends. the perfect weekend. just enough time with her, and plenty of football with the boys.
when i was in high school i wasn't allowed to go on a class trip to
medievel times b/c i fucked around in class too much. i was the only one not allowed to go. the day of the class trip i was the only one sitting in class with a substitute teacher. we stared at each other for 20 minutes. the sub asked me why i was the only one there, actually he said, " so you're the one huh?" i said, "apparantly." that was the extent of the conversation. 22 minutes later the bell rang. that's good stuff.
i have no idea what prompted that last paragraph.
i'll have three fingers of glenlivet, with a little bit of pepper... and some cheese.
somehow i've managed to kill almost two hours at work so far. not exactly sure how. not complaining about that. didn't accomplish anything. i don't think i did anything different than any other day. yet here i am, two hours later. fantastic.
no old man, i am not turning the music down.
there is a kid, and by kid i mean a guy about 22-24 years old, that comes in almost everyday. he is a local cop even though he is as weird as weird gets. he works out wearing jeans everyday. if i wore jeans when i worked out i would chaffe (i don't know how to spell that) to the point of a fire starting. not to mention i would sweat like a fat bastard. but sure as shit, this kid does it everyday. he also is only here for no more than 20 minutes. again, everyday. why bother? i just think he hangs out in the bathroom the whole time. yet, this douchebag is a cop and i am struggling to find interviews to become one. great.
white guys that wear skull caps should be shot in the face.
same goes for white guys with cornrows.
i'm in a glass case of emotion!!!!!!
i can't stop using anchorman quotes. even i wanted to, i JUST CAN'T STOP!!!!! it may have something to do with the fact i watch it during all my down time. or........or it may be b/c it's the greatest movie in the history of motion pictures.
just maybe.
so i went to the giant's game on monday night. freaking awesome. got there about 4 hours before kickoff and enjoyed tailgating festivities for a very long time. probably too long b/c the company i was with ended up getting pretty loaded. good times. luckily i called out of work yesterday and proceded to sleep, all. day. long. FANtastic. we had lower level tickets 17 rows up in the corner of the endzone. awesome seats. there was also a surprising amount of eye candy near us, which is always nice. to top it all off the gmen won and all was well with the world. sweet.
then i had to come back to work today. piss poor. at least it is wednesday. two days of torture left. are there any jobs out there people actually enjoy?? i don't hate my job, in fact i do enjoy it. i do however hate my hours, and don't make nearly enough money. are there jobs that pay well and people actually like them? and i mean normal people, not some kind of heartless financial investor that doesn't care about throwing away someone's retirement fund ie: Boiler Room. if there are, sign me up.
that's the smell of desire m'lady
to the fucker at the counter behind me, i sense you over my shoulder. no, i am not going to turn around and talk to you. i don't care about anything you have to say. if you really want to talk to me, mosey your fat ass around the counter to where you are in front of me.
in case you couldn't tell, i am not a big fan of people. an example as to why:
i open this place at 5am everyday. monday thru friday. yes i am an asshole for taking this job with these hours. however, that is neither here nor there. i am on time everyday. usually i am a little early and i let the pathetic people that are early and waiting for me in the door as i open it. i could just not let these people in until we open, but i don't want to hear their shit. today i was 15 minutes early as i came from philly this morning and allowed myself extra time. as i pull in i notice another car pull in across from me. i more or less run to the door as to beat this person to it. she is a bohemith of a woman. i get to the door, shut it, and lock it behind me. she waddles her fat ass up the door and knocks on it as i am walking away. i point to my watch and continue walking away. she knocks louder. i go from simply annoyed to really pissed. i turn around, again pointing at my watch. i set the place up and pass in front of the door again 10 minutes later. AGAIN, i hear knocking. i ignore it, she knocks LOUDER. i go from really pissed to furious. at 5:00 on the dot i open the door.
her: i guess i shouldn't get here until 5.
me: we open at 5, why would you get here earlier?
her: i thought you might open earlier, like when you got here.
me: i guess you thought wrong.
she is very heavy and probably smells like ham.
knock it off napolean and make yourself a dang quesadilla
i took grandma's advice and made myself a dang quesadilla. i filled it with cheesey and meaty goodness. sweet mercy it was good. now it's done and i am sad again. weak.
any ideas on what to get the woman for the anniversary????
i'm thinking a day at an upscale spa. or possibly some jewelry. i have no freakin clue.
my views on fashion
two things i will never wear:
spandex pants. (or spandex anything for that matter).
a bandana.
some douchebag was just wearing both.
you've got a dirty whorish mouth.
i don't know very much of anything, but i do know Dwight Gooden loves drugs. he loves drugs so much i applaud him. you have to respect that kind of commitment.
wednesday is far better than monday, YET still not all that good.
the guy doing tai chi in the aeobics room is supplying me with endless unintentional comedy. if he only knew how enjoyable he is. the beauty of it is the fact he is 100% dead serious doing it. i would crack myself up about 20 seconds into it. but i am a simpleton, so there you go.
one FANTASTIC thing about my job is the fact i could wear mesh shorts every day if i was so inclined. i don't, b/c I like to maintain a somewhat professional air about me, but i could. today i did, and i am enjoying every second of my comfortable decision. i am started to second guess this whole professional bullshit thing.
tai chi guy........you are OUTSTANDING!!!!!
you look very nice today. how about you don't wear a bra next time.
someone just came up to me and asked, "doesn't frank (a member here) look great?" frank has lost some weight, but to go as far to say he looks
great........ i can't do it. so my reply was, "you and i have different definitions of the word great." i may be a dick, but at least i am honest. he looks further away from death, and if that means
great, than yes he looks great. now leave me alone.
to the guy standing outside on your cell phone for the past hour: who the fuck are you talking to at this hour? by the size of you, you should at least be having this conversation while walking on the treadmill.
the eagles lost last night. the giants won on sunday. all is right with the world. i will be at the giants-saints game next monday night. so freaking sweet. and it doubles as an excellent reason to take off work on tuesday. so freakin awesome.
the arsonist has oddly shaped feet
how i hate you monday. if monday was a person i would stab him 50-60 times. i would get OJ all up on him. stupid monday. i could have slept for about 5 more hours today. as it was i just passed out last night. the body (as hot as it is) just collapsed on me.
got me tickets to the giants-saints game next monday night. that is freaking AWESOME!!!! monday night football bitches. this is even better considering the giants dominated yesterday. that always helps the weekend out.
my stomach was at an all time worst yesterday. i think it is trying to kill me. i wish i was joking about that. i am all out of my stomach medication and paid the fucking price yesterday. did it help that i ate like it was the last day on earth? who's to say really....i'm no doctor. i do know that i am going to drive like a crazy person to the pharmacy after work. once there i'll have no problem throwing old ladies out of my way to get to the counter. i don't like old people. i'll also have to wash my hands after that b/c old people smell like pee and medicine.
this place is DEAD today. i hope it stays that way. i have very little desire to do anything today. (other than tear my stomach out of my body).
while reading through applications put in here over the weekend i just came across one where the current employer is hooters. that is awesome. under occupation it says "hooters girl." do you think we will hire her? not a chance in hell. we suck like that. the girl is actually a member and is hot, so there is no chance of hiring her. so weak. the female staff here is sub-par. in fact, it is so depressing i'm not even going to comment on it.
bitches.
unique new york. unique new york.
sweet lord it's friday bitches.
it's friday bitches.
the time is coming people.
i have had several minor meltdowns here. they involve being loud with people from time to time. i try to maintain a certain air of professionalism when i am at work. outside of here all bets are off. as much as i am annoyed at this place, i usually just make subtle comments that go over people's heads. i don't know how much longer this can happen. i think a time bomb is ticking inside my head right now. yesterday it was triggered.
i was on the phone going over an order i had to place when some douchebag comes up and starts complaining to me. keep in mind i am talking into the phone at the time. he went on rambling as if i could talk into the phone, listen to the person i was on the phone with, and hear him all at the same time. i am skilled, but not quite that skilled. even after i turned my back to him he kept on going. eventually i turned back to him and point at the phone, like you would do to a little kid. did that stop him? no. i turn around again and he kept right on going. at this point i am near boiling. so i turn back to him, put my hand over the receiver and say, "i'm on the fucking phone." he stopped in mid sentence mouth agast, turned around, and didn't say another word about it.
it is sad that when dealing with an adult i have to resort to measures like that. he is just lucky i didn't jump over the counter and beat him to death with the phone. b/c that is what i really wanted to do.
i hate people.
the human torch was denied a bank loan
um, what the hell just happened?
someone just came in and called me guy about 50 times.
hey guy. how you doing?
hey guy. how much was that TV?
hey guy. how long have you worked here?
hey guy. what's a good workout for your chest?
hey guy. do you like this job?
hey guy. i like your watch. where did you get it? guy.
it went on like this for about 5 minues. that doesn't sound long, but it really is when you are in the middle of something like that. to make matters worse, i have no idea who the hell he was. i don't think i've ever seen him before. FANTASTIC.
LOUD NOISES!!!!!!!
my stomach hates me. i hate it right back. it started it. i would be fine with my stomach, friends even, if it would just leave me the fuck alone and feel good. it doesn't, and so there are problems. the gallon of coffee i am drinking is not going to help relations. but when you get 4 hours of sleep for the 100th night in a row you need a little help. i should go to the doctor, yet i won't b/c i feel like that is giving in. i'm no quitter.
hypothetically speaking, if you are my girlfriend and call me several times without me calling you back, you should probably just stop calling. i'll call you back when i want to talk. also, you shouldn't give me a hard time about hanging out with my friends. especially since we spent the weekend together. hypothetically speaking of course.
oh sweet mercy i still have 6 1/2 hours left of work.
my hatred of "fitness celebrity" john basetow grows more and more with each passing day.
if you don't like the movie "anchorman," not only are you un-american, you are a bad person.
that's all i got.
wow, this site sucks.
could this site suck anymore lately? i say that no, it could not. i've really just had nothing of value to say. i know that never stopped me before, but for some reason it is now.
here is something though:
there is a slob of a girl that comes in here and thinks i am her shrink. she cries to me at least once a week, and i abuse her for it. but she loves the attention, a typical drama queen. i know i've written about her before. anyway, she comes in yesterday crying hysterically so i say, "what the fuck is wrong with you?? can't you go one day without bitching to me?" she then said, "my grandfather just died." wow. i am an asshole.
