either let me fly, or give me death.
i have had no internet access at work (again) that explains the lack of posting. it has gone from annoying to comical. i am letting my boss' passive/aggressive take on this situation slide b/c i don't feel like getting into it with him. there are other things to worry about. like, why is our gym so unattractive? are there measures we can take to remedy this? if so, what are they? i often think how much better this place would be if it were run like Studio 54 in the late 70's and i was one of the guys working the door. only admitting in who i saw fit. that would have been the perfect job for me. hurling out insults without fear of reprisal. sweet mercy i would've loved that. i would love to do that here, but i value money too much to find myself unemployed for speaking my mind. weak.
so far today people have brought me 1 large coffee, 1 pork roll, egg, and cheese begel. JACKPOT!!! despite my dickitry people love me.
since you asked my thanksgiving was great. i have a big family and for the most part everyone is local so we had 30+ people there. insane amounts of food were eaten by yours truly. and lots of babies and puppies running around too. what's not to like? i had to work friday (so weak) but the family got together on friday night too. awesome. the woman came over on both nights and i was able to spend thanksgiving night with her family as well. good mix of splitting time.
last two nights combined sleep: 6 hours.
quiz time bitches
i saw this on
Kay's site and since i have nothing too original to add today.....here you go.
| The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy |
 In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.
Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho |
If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?
this is pretty dead on.
| Athletic Kid |
 Even if you weren't a football star, you spent a good amount of time playing sports and keeping fit.
People may have stereotyped you as a "dumb jock" - but they underestimated your will, wit, and determination. |
Who Were You In High School?
this is exactly me. except i was the football star. (someone refuses to let that go.)
| You Are Broccoli Casserole Soda |
 Vegetarians taste better! |
What Jones Holiday Soda Are You?
this couldn't be more wrong. i hate vegetarians. meat is murder is for fags and dirty hippies. i am neither. i should retake this one.
| You Are Lemon Meringue Pie |
 You're the perfect combo of sassy and sweetThose who like you have well refined tastes |
What Kind of Pie Are You?
sassy? did you ever see that SNL skit where phil hartman kept saying Sassy? that's good stuff. not necessarily a word i would use to describe myself though.
| Cheese Pizza |
 Traditional and comforting.You focus on living a quality life.You're not easily impressed with novelty.Yet, you easily impress others. |
i do like to think of myself as impressive.
| What Your Sleeping Position Says |
| You have a passion for everything - including sleeping.Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well.You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers.You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations. |
What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?
this is somehow 100% correct. weird.
| How You Are In Love |
 You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
You tend to take more than give in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
this one is also scarily true. i don't fall in love often though.
| On Average, You Would Sell Out For |
 $183,803 |
At What Price Would You Sell Out?
this is something i already knew. i can be bought and sold for very little.
i need to go check your pipes
there is an older gentleman that comes in and drops off payroll for the pharmacy next door. everytime he comes in he uses the bathroom. that's fine. he's old. old people have bathroom issues. usually he makes a comment like: "i need to go check your pipes." ha ha. ok. no big deal. today he gave me: "oh god, i hope i make it back there on time. it would be quite a clean up job if i didn't."
are you fucking kidding me? why the hell do people think it's ok to make comments like that to me?
you're very very poor kenny
ugh.
at least tomorrow is pay day. although it's pretty much already gone. i love paying bills. i also love getting kicked in the junk. can you do that please? b/c that would be great. yeah.
my ass was dragging and my stomach said no to coffee so i took some ephedra. YIKES!!! i haven't taken any in months so my cracker ass if FLYING right now. i am all cracked up. i can't wait for the inevitible crash. good times.
there is a little blondie in here that may need a good talking to. and by talking to i mean boning.
tai chi guy you never cease to ammuse me. if only you would fall once. that would make my day.
definitely just got caught checking out blondie. so i guess just turning around and staring is obvious?? who knew?
my heart may explode from ephedra abuse. i welcome it.
it is only 7:10. i have 1 million more hours of work today. i think the clock is moving backwards.
i am having a hard time putting actual paragraphs together.
i'll say it again, i will NEVER wear a bandana. ever.
and if you want to bang heads with me i can show you what it's like.
wednesday, you are no friday.
a friend of mine told me on monday night he once drank 11 red bull's in a row. that's insane. anyone else i would have doubted, but he is not one to embelish, so i took his word for it. he also told me of the horrible stomach pain that followed in such detail that i had no choice but believe him. i too find myself addicted to red bull. it is so damn good. i would like to be sponsored by them. i don't do anything to deserve that kind of backing, but i want free red bull. any and all ideas on how to make this happen will be appreciated.
(that same friend took some horrible looking girl home with him from the bar we were at on monday night. FANTASTIC!!!!)
did you ever think that if you really gave it a serious effort you'd be able to commit some really serious crime and get away with it? hypothetically speaking of course. i think i could. again, hypothetically speaking. of course.
is there anything worse than a poorly made local TV commercial? other than full blown AIDS, i'm not sure there is.
(was that last reference a little too much?)
ugliest. gym. ever.
everyday: "how do you want your coffee?"
everyday: (deep exhale) "light and sweet. lots of sugar." (followed 10 minutes later by:) "no not enough sugar."
my people's are you with me, where you at? in the front, in the back. killer bees on attack.
didn't i just leave this place?
weekends, why do you mock me by going so quickly? i love you weekends, why do you hate me?
i've said it before, and i'll say it again. i work at the ugliest. gym. ever. it's like the circus shut down and all the carnies came here. stupid ugly carnies.
i like jamiroquai way more than i should.
weekend recap:
friday night. the woman needed to go shopping so i went. got some sweet gear at the gap. including a shirt she was so against i actually turned around after we left just to go back and get it to annoy her. i make myself laugh. went out to eat at some chinese restaurant i've passed hundreds of times always wondering if it was any good. answer.......no, not really. but the staff is rude. so there you go.
the rest of the weekend consisted of football and putting a border up at my sister's house in the new baby's room. (she's expecting in a couple weeks). the woman babysat for my sister's first baby while i was working. A+ effort for the woman on the babysitting front. the maternal instinct amazes me.
the giants made me hate football yesterday.
at least notre dame made me love football on saturday.
if nothing else i am wearing sweatpants at work today.
i definitely just called a guy by the wrong name. thought it was joe. it was lou. ha.
did you ever see someone so unattractive you actually get angry? do you also wonder how someone else was willing to sleep with that person? i do. to both.
huh?
what the fuck am i doing posting on a saturday night? that's a good question. i have already used the computer for waaaayyyyy too long with this not being a work day. i had some kind of nonsense on my computer that just wouldn't go away. spyware is the fucking worst. if i caught the fucking geek that has nothing better to do than fuck with my shit, i would beat him to death with his own shoes. fuckers. i had to call "geek-squad" to fix this shit as all the anti-spy ware i had was pretty much useless against this. two and a half hours later my shit was all fixed. but that is a long ass time to be on the phone with a dirty foreigner trying to fix my computer. weak.
now i am going to work out. blow off some steam. and probably see the woman.
i let the tape rock till the tape popped.
it's friday bitches. not a moment too soon. i've officially reached some level of tired that most people proceed to die at. fantastic. i plan on sleeping right through tomorrow.
something's wrong here.......dunkin donuts got my order 100% correct.
simple observation:
do the laws and rules of driving not apply to parking lots? and if this is the case, why not? there is a rather large shopping center near my home that i stopped at yesterday to get me some wifebeaters. (for the record, when i wear them i do feel like hitting women. so look out.) while navigating my way to kohl's i was almost hit by four seperate drivers. i was prepared for this when i pulled into the entrance as i have had this happen to me there on numerous occasions. why do people think parking lot driving is a free for all? last i checked it wasn't bumper cars. there are never blinkers, cars are stopped dead for no reason in the middle of lanes, people pull out of spots without regard for human life, and basically anything else short of just running little kids down. (truth be told i would rather that happen than get cut off.) i don't get it. is this a universal thing, or only in dirty jerz?
that picture i tried to upload didn't work. obviously.
new slang.
i love the movie
garden state. it is on right now. i am watching it. the soundtrack for it is amazing. if you haven't seen it, watch it. then go buy the soundtrack. then thank me you ungrateful sonofabitch.
too much walking shoes worn thin. too much tripping and my souls worn thin.
um yeah.
it's been a while since i've posted. this is due to the fact i have not had the internet at work for a couple weeks. i don't know why i haven't had it, but i haven't. i think in my boss' typical passive aggressive manner he just blocked access without telling me, as opposed to just asking me not to use it. whatever. today it is working, so today i am posting. i rarely post anything from home, b/c well.....i just don't. my time on the computer at home is used for porno, and......porno. don't judge me you bastards.
so again, i ain't dead yet bitches.
to get you up to speed. the woman is back in dirty jerz. so instead of an hour and half trip to see her, it's only 15 minutes. that saves gas money. but since we are still on our little break, it's a moot point anyway. we are still talking everyday and hung out this past weekend. so it's really like nothing's changed at all. i will say this, the thought of not seeing or talking to her does not sit well. not even a little.
of course the same ridiculousness has been going on with the yahoos that come into this place.
example: a russian woman came in here two days ago inquiring about a membership. at least i think she was. the only thing i understood was "gym". that made for interesting conversation. i am not good in those types of situations. i get frustrated quickly. basically i start saying things louder as if she is deaf instead of speaking a different language. i realize this while i am doing it, but i do it nonetheless. she didn't join. and she probably thinks i have anger issues.
the word tired doesn't accurately describe how i am feeling today. last night i looked at the clock and it read 1am. i almost cried realizing i had to be up for work in 3 1/2 hours. i need a new job. that's no way to live. so i am on about 3 hours sleep with 20 ozs of coffee in me. of course d&d messed up my coffee this morning, but i have learned to grab some extra sugars on my way out the door. i guess when i say "lots of sugar" they hear "an insignificant amount of sugar." it's quite the cat and mouse game we are playing.
for the record, "the office" is the funniest show on TV.
