back by popular demand.
here i am. did you guys miss me? i bet you did.
no worries. here i am.
the internet was down at work for a while. that eats my ass so bad. i've been doing a good amount of reading, but still....nothing replaces the internet for wasting time at work. it's up and running for the time being, so i should be posting again asap. this post is from my mom's house b/c i wanted to see my dogs. they are the best. they are far better than your dogs. i'd post a link to their pics, but i am lazy.
why don't i just post from home you ask? b/c if i am at home using the computer i am looking at porn. that's just the way it is. (i'm kidding. sometimes i do fantasy baseball and football). no, i've been working on getting a real job so i don't want to post b/c then i will totally get sidetracked. can't have that. i do have some good things to post including pics of me and the woman so stay tuned.
internet? what's that?
you know what's worse than 1 day of work with no internet access? 2 days. especially since i was going to spend a bulk of today posting resumes. now i have to waste precious home time doing it. so weak.
no internet is no good.
no internet access at work today equals no posting until later in the day. (if at all). that sucks b/c internet time kills my first 3 hours at work. being that's more or less a third of my day i was bored as hell today. luckily i had a book with me that is excellent, but still. not being able to rant and rave for the relative enjoyment of others is no fun. something was wrong with the modem. stupid modem ruining my day.
put the resume together today. tomorrow will consist of LOTS of emailing all over the country. if neccessary i will leave the garden state to get the job i want. the woman will be coming with me regardless, so that is a BIG worry off my back. could be exciting times in jerkville.
good sneakers.
a woman called me here on friday inquiring about our yoga class. considering i have never taken a yoga class since i am not a raging queen i did my best to answer her questions. more or less this is the conversation:
her: do you have yoga today?
me: yes we do, it's at 10:30.
her: i'm not a member can i still take the class?
me: yes, you just have to buy a daily pass. they are $15 (anyone willing to pay $15 for a daily pass to a gym is an idiot).
her: should i wear good sneakers?
me: what?
her: should i wear good sneakers?
me: uh, that is up to you. some of the women just wear socks to help relax a little more.
her: so i don't have to wear good sneakers?
me: (what the fuck. good sneakers?) you can wear whatever you want.
her: what time is the class at?
me: 10:30.
her: and i don't have to wear sneakers?
me: wear whatever you want.
fast forward 2 hours. THAT woman comes in to buy her daily pass.
her: i want to take the yoga class.
me: that will be $15.
her: (with tremendous attitude) I KNOW.
me: (whoa) ok, relax. enjoy your workout.
we then have the SAME EXACT SNEAKER CONVERSATION from above. i wish i was making this up. i'm not.
i hate these people.
short
no new posts today. i've been using the computer for something productive for once.
searching for a A NEW FUCKING JOB!!!!!!
yes. cuban B.
it's friday bitches!!!
it doesn't feel like friday. i don't have that excited feeling in my pants that i usually have on fridays. the woman is coming in today to take a belly dancing class. that will fix the pants situation.
i thought of some more things i hate:
1. people that back into parking spots for no good reason. what the fuck is that? are you trying to show off? i'm not impressed.
2. people that talk on their cell phones in public. especially in restaurants. assholes. there is no such thing as common courtesy. your conversation can wait.
3. the fucks that have nextel and use the walkie talkie all the time. just open the fucking phone and put it to your ear like a normal person. i don't need to hear that faggot ass beep or your fucking conversation. i need to know that you have to get milk later today? fuck you.
4. hairy people with little clothing. shave your back man. or wear a full t-shirt. this tank top shit isn't going to fly. unless you want me to vomit my disgust all over you. b/c that can be done.
5. snakes on a plane. (it's a repeat, but still).
6. the fact coffee doesn't work on me anymore. so weak.
i could do a list like this everyday. i have lots of hate. lots.
no plans so far for the weekend. the woman has to work tommorow which means i will do a lot of nothing. most likely that will include much tv and napping.
you're like water to my soul when i'm so thirsty
so i got tagged by
Jazz which is good b/c i had nothing to write about today. luckily the topic is about things i hate so i can go on about that forever. if in doubt this is usually my topic of choice anyway.
20 things that irk me. (everything gets on my nerves. fucking everything).
1. there are people that come in here everyday but don't look any better. in fact, some look a lot worse.
2. my boss and i have talked on numerous occasions about my raise, yet he still has to "work some numbers" before i get a definite number. it's to the point where i am actively seeking new employment.
3. my roommates are slobs.
4. i have to see my ex's brother almost everyday at the gym. he's the nicest kid in the world and is still upset 9 months later that things didn't work out.
5. a guy just walked in wearing spandex pants and an almost spandex shirt. also, he's in his 40's. what the fuck?
6. bandanas. they really fucking bother me. not on a chick though. it's ok for them to wear them.
7. the price of gas. fuck off OPEC.
8. paying bills. fuck off landlady. let me live for free.
9. waking up at 4:30 everyday. fuck off alarm clock.
10. leaving the woman in bed to go to work.
11. it's only 7:12. i still have many hours of work left.
12. bad tattoos. these things are permanent.
13. teen angst: emo kids. fuck you. your life is so hard growing up in a 4 bedroom house while you dart around in your gay ass scion. all of which your parents have paid for. yet you have the audacity to bitch and moan and give them attitude. ungrateful little shits.
14. the fact the kids from #13 wear tight jeans. (i know i am repeating this from the other day, but it REALLY bothers me.)
15. the amount of bad movies out. ie: "snakes on a plane," "little man," "zoom." are you kidding me? who lets the wayans brothers and tim allen even make movies any more? this will be an entire post soon. i can go on about this.
16. eagle fans. you have to be from around here to understand this.
17. bad TV. i watched about 8 seconds of "the war at home" and almost shot the tv.
18. affirmative action. don't get me started.
19. speed limits. let me drive at my own pace.
20. every asshole that comes into this fucking place.
automatic for the people.
when i am at work certain responses are almost automatic. they are words i utter under my breath when things happen. for example:
when i see someone come in the front doors i will say, "mother fucker."
when the phone rings i will say, "fucking cocksucker."
obviously both of these things happen all day long. my feelings about that are always the same. the only thing that may change are the words that come out. rest assured, they aren't good.
i don't like these people. at all.
do i ever leave this place?
i hate monday so much. so very much.
what i realized friday night: i am never going to a concert again. check that. i am never going to a concert that only teenie bopper little shits will be at. i am too old for that. way too old. i am not emo enough. i hate emo. i hate kids in tight jeans. especially when it's 90 degrees out. i was sweating my ass off in a basketball jersey and cargos, these queens are running around in tight ass jeans. why? it just doesn't make sense. i hate punk kids. i hate crowds. this place was a crowd of punk kids. kids puking by my truck, young drunk girls crying, kids passing out on their feet. NO GOOD. i am too old for that shit. a girl called me sir. sir. i like to think i demand that kind of respect, but no. i'm just old. fucking retards with their shaggy ass hair trying to bum beers off my friends. little fuckers. whenever that happened my roommate would tell them to cut their hair. and i laughed every time. so, the band was great. the concert experiece was far from it. at least it's the last time.
weekend other than that was good. got along great with the woman's sister and brother in law. the neices loved me. they asked if i could be their uncle. very very funny. spent all day saturday and most of sunday with them. they all wanted to sit next to me at dinner. i am loved, what can i say.
what i can do without. sunburn. me and the woman went to the beach yesterday. i layed with my hat covering my face, or so i thought. nope. face is burned, but not universally. mostly the right side. awesome. the only thing better than a sunburned face is half a sunburned face.
also could do without mondays.
50 questions
i stole this from Mr. Manuel's site. this let's me post something without having to be original, and i'm ALL ABOUT THAT.
1. My roommate and I once:
got blind drunk at a party and on the walk home hopped the fence to a local swim club and did flips off the high dive for like a half hour.
2. Never in my life have I:
enjoyed olives.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is:
one of my roommates. the same idiot from #1.
4. High school was:
an awkward drunken orgy of sports and occasional cheerleaders.
5. When I'm nervous:
i get real uncomfortable.
6. The last time I cried was:
it's been a long time since i really really cried. when my ex and i broke up.
7. If I were to get married right now, my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be:
a handful or morons.
8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone e-mail your deepest secret to all your friends?:
naked running. no doubt. i got nothing to hide.
9. My hair:
is real short, but getting grayer than i'd like.
10. When I was 5:
i had lots of freckles.
11. Last Christmas:
i was spoiled by my ex.
12. When I turn my head left:
i see a bunch of assholes on treadmills and eliptical machines.
13. I should be:
sleeping.
14. When I look down I see:
a sweet pair of nike shoxs.
15. The craziest recent event was:
fourth of july party. just ridiculous.
16. If I were a character on Friends I'd be:
chandler. but with more self esteem and less whining.
17. By this time next year:
i hope to have a gun, a badge, and A LOT more money.
18. My favorite aunt is:
pat and kathy. i can't choose.
19. I have a hard time understanding:
how many idiot douchebag cops there are, yet i can't even get an interview. i also can't understand spanish.
20. One time at a family gathering:
i got entirely too wasted and had to be brought home early. not good times.
21. You know I like you if:
I talk to you.
22. If I won an award, the first person (people) I'd thank:
my parents. they have given me everything they could.
23. Take my advice:
avoid the clap.
24. My ideal breakfast is:
pork roll, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel. sweet mercy.
25. If you visit my home town:
you'll be disappointed
26. Sometime soon I plan to visit:
anywhere in the caribbean.
27. If you spend the night at my house:
don't sleep on the futon. trust me.
28. I'd stop my wedding if:
i found out about any lying or infidelity
29. The world could do without:
mean old people.
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
wake up for work.
31. The most recent thing I've bought myself is:
sweet pair of camo shorts. i'm wearing them now and i look good. i mean really good.
32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is:
dinner.
33. My favorite blonde is:
(not including girlfriend) jessica simpson.
34. My favorite brunette is:
carmen electra
35. My car must have a sign on it that reads:
please cut me off and drive very slow.
36. The last time I was drunk:
was almost 4 years ago.
37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds:
monkeys.
38. I shouldn't have been:
such a horrible student.
39. Last night I:
had dinner with a friend. sat on the bay with my girl in my lap b/c it was really nice out.
40. There's this girl I know who:
lets me hold onto her rack when we sleep.
41: I don't know:
why weekend bike riders wear so much loud spandex.
42. A better name for me would be:
big dick mcgee.
43. If I ever go back to school I'll:
take is seriously and finally graduate.
44. How many days until my birthday?:
7 months away.
45. One dead celebrity I wish I'd met is:
none.
46. I've lived at my current address since:
may 13th
47. I've been told I look like:
the dude from prison break. brian austin green (yeah, he's david on 90210). i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
48. If I could have any car, it would be:
the original military grade humvee.
49. If I got a new dog tomorrow, I would name it:
butch
50. I believe in:
god
who's up for round 2, oooh what to do, my wallets gettin thin and i just lost my watch last night.
it's friday bitches??
is this thing on?? i said it's friday BITCHES!!!!
friday is the best. monday is NOT. god i hate that monday, BUT i love that friday. if friday was a hot chick i would totally bang it (in the butt b/c that's not cheating).
now that's funny.
what a woman asked me earlier:
her: did i leave my keys here yesterday?
me: ???
so many things i wanted to say to that. they included:
1. how the fuck do i know what YOUR keys look like? am i the all knowing key god? b/c if i am, why wasn't i told this. and can i make some money off this newly found information.
2. again, how the fuck would i know what your keys look like? what the fuck? really. what the fuck?
that's really all i wanted to say, but you get the idea. what is wrong with people?
going to see
O.A.R. tonight. they fucking rock it. this is the 4th time i'm going to see them. i saw them at MSG in january and it was one of the best shows i've ever been to. i saw them last year at this same venue and the 2 idiots i went with got real drunk and annoyed the SHIT out of me. i had to keep them out of a fight, they were bumping into people, hitting on YOUNG girls, etc. basically all the same shit i used to do, but since i don't drink anymore, don't do. i can appreciate it and laugh at it, but only to an extent. 4 hours of that shit gets old. they were fine at the MSG show and i already warned them if they act the same way, i'm leaving their asses there. should be good times.
other than that i don't think i have any big plans this weekend. the woman's nieces are up from south carolina so she is excited for that. i haven't met them, or her sister and brother in law yet so that should be something. i'll just keep quiet and try to look like i'm having fun. other than my niece and nephew i'm not great with kids. i think her nieces are 11, 9, and 3. i might have totally made that up. i don't know. i do know i'm going to have to spend a significant amount of time with all of them. supposedly the brother in law is a douchebag so i'll have to be on my best behavior. i have problems with that.
is it true that if you don't use it you lose it?
don't talk to me in the bathroom. just fucking don't. it's awkward for everyone involved. just let me be. even better, don't talk to me at all.
when you ask me if i watched the yankee game and i say no, that doesn's mean i want a play by play. sportscenter is on, i'll watch that.
if i didn't want my coffee so bad i would throw it in someone's face. it's actually kinda cold now. so let me heat it up, then i'll throw it in someone's face. b/c in my mind throwing a hot drink in someone's face is one of the funniest things you can do.
the tired levels are at a high today. i was in bed relatively early, don't know what the problem was. oh wait i do. i was up for work at 4 fucking 30. fuck me. and that's later than i usually get to wake up b/c i was at the woman's house and she lives closer to the gym. i complain about waking up early all the time you say? yes i do motherfucker. it's my fucking blog, i'll complain all i want. why don't you get another job and stop bitching and moaning you say? b/c the job i'm trying to get takes a very long time to get. this is holding me over in the meantime. and it's easy. dick.
guy just walked in wearing spandex pants. yeah. spandex pants. the guy walking in behind him had on a spandex shirt. yeah. a spandex shirt. there should be rules about this.
a (heavy)woman (wearing a belly shirt) just walked in and for no reason and with no prompting told me, "i need to switch to my fall schedule." huh? it's august. and i don't even know what the hell that's supposed to mean. what is wrong with these people?
if i had hot coffee i would have thrown it in her face.
y'all gonna make me lose my mind. up in here. up in here.
i really thought i posted something yesterday morning. either blogger ate it, or i officially lost my mind. both are very possible, and to lose my mind wouldn't be a very far trip.
wednesday is no friday. it is still far better than monday.
is it wrong that i've only been up for 2 hours and all i'm looking forward to is going back to bed tonight? i can never sleep enough. ever.
there are probably 20-25 people here right now. all of them are ugly, with no exceptions. several of them would best be described as very ugly.
some moron just dropped his towel into the track on the treadmill. i hate these people.
watched "v for vendetta" last night. hmm, where to begin. i am a big fan of the action/drama genre of film. i probably would have liked this better in the theatre as my roommates and i made fun of a lot of it. that's not to say it was a bad movie, but my roommates and i are idiots and can laugh at anything. several things i did not like: the white mask the guy wore the whole time was creepy. as most white masks are. they never show the dudes face. without getting too much into the plot natalie portman's character is way too forgiving of this "v" character. is this motherfucker did anything close to this to me, there would be bloodshed. it's worth seeing though.
i don't think coffee even works for me anymore.
the same two fat girls come in here everyday at the same time and just annoy me. i don't think there is any good reason they do, but they do. they aren't overly friendly, and i'm of the opinion fat girls should be overly friendly.
this place is getting uglier and uglier with each new person.
my weekend.
mondays are not that cool. in fact, they suck. bigtime. YET, i am ok today. i had a great weekend with the woman. i hate to be a dick, but it was so good i can't share it with you. it would be cheating. sorry.
i can say this. go the place i linked too on friday. it was awesome. it was clean. it was new. the waterpark was fun as hell. the people were friendly. the food was great. the room was clean and really nice. just go.
when you go, go horseback riding too. even though you might not really want to, it will be worth it b/c it makes your girlfriend really happy, and you get to see her smile like she did when she was a little girl. you'll realize there is more to life than your own selfishness. you'll feel better and you know what, you WILL have more fun than you thought you would.
go to
paws n' claws too. for the same reason as above. it might not be something you would have picked out, but it's more than worth it to see how happy your girlfriend will be. you'll see a sweetness in her face when she looks at the animals that isn't guarded. and you'll love her all over again. you will also be a little kid for a couple hours and just not care at all.
just go.
(you'll also post the gayest post ever and not give a fuck).
YOUR FACE!!!
it's friday bitches!!! and not a moment too soon. this week sucked my ass. too much work. too much heat. fuck.
(just like everyday) i have very little of any value to say today. i am exhausted and cranky. i've already had 5 people ask me what's wrong. YOUR FACE. that's what's wrong.
i just want to get the hell outta here and go home. that is a minimum of 6 hours away. and that's if i DON'T stay and work out, and after taking 2 weeks off b/c of my knee, that's not an option.
this weekend should be good. going
here with the woman from saturday night to sunday. looks like fun. i'd be a lot more enthused if i had any life to me today. fuck.
what i miss most about not living home.
i went to my mom's house yesterday and was ATTACKED by these mongrols. is there anything better than that?
it started with this one, and that one. pullin out gats for fun.
this is officially post #300. not that that means anything or is significant in any way. i'm just making conversation.
saw "lady in the water" last night. eh. i think this m. night shyamalan guy is falling off a little. i don't like to criticize movies or books all that much b/c i have never produced anything of any value and have the utmost respect for people who have. i believe you shouldn't bash someone else's work until you have done something significant yourself. "the sixth sense" is an amazing movie and he DID make that. albeit years ago, but still. i wouldn't have picked this out myself, but the woman wanted to see it. i usually pick out just about everything we do and see so i'll let this one slide. it just wasn't my scene.
you know what else isn't my scene? anything work related.
i left work a little early yesterday b/c i was fucking exhausted after working 1 million hours on monday and tuesday, and all i wanted to do was go home and sleep. so i walk out to my truck just wanting to floor it and go home, and what do i see? a fucking flat. pig fucker. thankfully there is a garage a couple hundred yards from here. a fucking screw in my tire. awesome. at least they were able to plug the hole and patch it up. new tires are expensive. and i have no money. so weak.
you. you are no gentleman.
wednesday, you are NO friday.
hours worked monday: 10. then an hour of working out.
hours worked yesterday: 14. plus an hour of working out.
that puts me at 26 hours here over the past two days. that also puts me at hating the gym. yesterday i worked my usual 5-1 then came back at night from 6:30 to 11. a coworker need a favor so i came in and let him leave early. i then proceeded to go to the woman's to sleep b/c she lives closer to here than i do. i got about 4 hours of sleep then returned here at 5 again. i am growing sick of the gym this week. at least the paycheck will be good. well not good b/c i might as well be paid in water and peanuts, but better than usual.
at least when i went to the woman's she had food waiting for me. it's the little things ladies.
also, have a nice rack. that can't hurt either.
it's supposed to be over 100 degrees again today. that's just unnecessary. i hate the extreme heat with a passion. irish people weren't made for heat. i almost burst into flames yesterday afternoon. no one needs that.
you know what else no one needs? a fat guy in a tank top. YET there is one here. good. great. GRAND.
it's a lot of fun seeing an ex's mom here everyday. it's not awkward. at all. it's also not awkward seeing her younger sister every sunday b/c your friend dates her.
our air conditioner isn't really winning the battle with the heat. it needs to step it up.
i'm running purely on caffiene right now. i'm going to crash. soon. it's gonna be terrific.
i hate you clock.
sometimes you look at the clock and it only says 7:30am, and you were expecting a far far different number. and this is a very bad thing.
and then when you are in the middle of typing someone comes over to you unprovoked and won't stop talking to you. even though your eyes haven't left the computer screen and you keep typing away. YET they continue to go on and on about the fact they might go look at a new truck today. they aren't sure, possibly a dodge 1500. they get a AAA discount, but he doesn't want to pay more than $26,000. he doesn't want all the bell and whistles, but...........
just shut the fuck up and leave me alone.
i tried doing good, but good's not too good for me. midsunderstood. why'd you choose the hood for me?
it is warm in here. very warm. the air conditioner doesn't stay on at night. it was roughly 1 million degrees last night. roughly. it is supposed to be roughly 2 million degrees today. roughly. makes me VERY glad i no longer do construction. sweet mercy that sucked. i did find that chicks love blue collar guys though. they also love underpaid gym managers. go figure.
there is not ONE person in here right now that i would consider even decent looking. sometimes i think i am in an ugly vortex. then again, who the fuck in their right mind is working out at 6:23 am? idiots. that's who.
i worked out yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks. what a welcome that was. i am embracing today's soreness with open arms. the knee held up pretty well, but i went easy on it. i still may have gone too hard, but that's just how i roll. i did lose some strength, but that's to be expected. i'll make up for that in a month.
hell's kitchen is one of the highlights of my week. it was on last night and that guy just tears those fucking idiots apart. i won't go into too much detail for those of you that don't watch it, but he calls people, "fucking donkeys" and "fat cows." and really, what's not to like about that. it doesn't help that it looks like these people have only worked in a grammer school cafeteria. poorly at that. do yourself a favor, and watch it. it's quality programming.
you fucking donkeys. (oh yeah, i could get used to that).
