CT eats it
i haven't posted in a few days. for once it's not my fault. i was in Stamford, CT for work. who the hell goes to Stamford, CT for work? this guy, that's who. for those of you that don't know, it's not that cool. several things i realized about that place:1. everyone in CT drives likes poononers. bad. here in the dirty jerz we drive like the end is near. (and for most of the people out there, it should be). not in CT. they take their sweet ass time. come on people, i may be lost, but i need to get more lost in a hurry.
2. yeah i got lost. mapquest lied about where my hotel was. i was all kinds of NOT HAPPY. stupid mapquest. stupid holiday inn. it was right off the main street, but there were NO SIGNS for it. it could have been any other building. fucking jerks.
3. there was always traffic. again with the slow driving.
4. they had a target. i love target. i walked there to keep from killing someone in a fit of rage/boredom.
5. they had an LA Fitness there. i was able to work out. sweet. i look too good to stop working out.........yeah. i said it.
6. traveling for work sucks. it's cool for about 1 minute. then you realize much of the time will be spent in your hotel room. hooker optional. surprisingly i opted not too. something about not wanting it to burn when i pee.
7. the chick that i worked with had a nice rack. so that was a plus. the engagement ring on her finger was not.
8. i did get hit on by a VERY LARGE black woman that had on VERY LARGE fishnet stockings. i just got done working out and was in the elevator back to my room when she saw me and said something to the effect of:
her: mmm, mmm, mmm. you just get done lifting weights?
me: (honestly frightened) uh, yeah.
her: damn boy, you are all swolled (she said swolled) up and bulging in all the right places.
me: (oh sweet mercy get to my floor) thanks???
her: i hope i get to see you lata.
me: we'll see. (cue me sprinting off the elevator at my floor)
awesome.
9........i think 8 is all i have.
posted by thejerkstore @ 1:59 AM
7 Comments:
"(honestly frightened)" pah!
Ha! Funny post. :-)
kelly: bigtime!!!
glorious: they are all funny.
Fishnet stockings, huh? haha...too funny.
I finally put you back on my list as you seem to be back, but now it looks like you haven't posted in a couple weeks again. Don't be a blogging stranger...
The large lady in the fishnets? It was definitely me.
Never, Never trust Mapquest. A link to it from Chili's website led me and a friend to the middle of an orchard.
Mapquest is Google Maps's dirty whore friend, that Google occasionaly gives a mercy screw.
Just when I realize you're back among the blogging again, you're not. You're a horrible tease.
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